WTF Foods: Is This Even Edible?

I’m sure I’m not the only health conscious individual that wanders through the supermarket and stumbles upon some “foods” that just make you go WTF? In fact it happens rather frequently. I’m starting to think that instead of chronic bitch face, I get chronic skanky face at the store. As if I’m always confused and disgusted. I get the most concerned looks from employees, I swear. Anyway, I was in the dreaded and terrible Walmart earlier and found some truly strange chemical concoctions.


Seriously, Spreadzillas? I fear for the youth of America that gets targeted for these sorts of strange colored corn syrup crap. I imagine this would be like squirting noxious apple flavored slime onto your morning toast. NasTay.

20130925-170705.jpgSo they sell just the marshmallow parts of Lucky Charms now in like huge chunks? Okkkkk. I was intruiged like a child by the color but they were like crunchy stale in the bag and naturally made out of corn syrup. No wonder America has an obesity epidemic, every thing we eat is SUGAR.


Ok now this one…. Oreo. WTF? I haven’t eaten an oreo since my childhood (before I was educated in the ways of nutrition,) back then there was just double stuff, regular and I think the reverse ones. But now!! Oh Lawdy, what sweet debauchery is this unholy combination?! Does this even sound appetizing? I imagine it would taste like the times you thought of getting a fruity berry flavored tooth polish at the dentist.


Ok this one is not sooo crazy. I’m not gonna lie, I might be tempted to try these is it wasn’t mostly made out of corn syrup and because I’m 100% on the PUMPKIN EVERYTHING White Girl Bandwagon. True story. Yet still, why why why do marshmallows have to be so….artificial? Maybe they’ll start making Holiday Pumpkin Spice Marshmallow Whip in the jar. Then you know we have reached the pinnacle of hopelessness for believing these “food like products” actually pass for food.

Anybody for a carrot?


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